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Britney Spears used to represent the best in marketing success.  Britney’s label, manager, and marketing team took a hard-working, average looking, below-average singing, over-sexed, under-educated, barely capable singer with a propensity toward becoming heavy-set, and turned her into an international star worth over $100mm thanks to suggestively themed performances staged by a not-yet-legal teen.

Now of course, Britney has fallen off the wagon (and her now-fictional celibate until marriage vow) into overweight and under-brained hot mess-dom.

Hayden Panettiere is the new Britney for so many reasons.

1) The underage drinking and partying.

2) The hot mess stage mom (actually, Hayden’s more like the new Lindsay Lohan with her super hot mess “look at me, I’m young and hot and drunk too” mom Dina Lohan).

3) And perhaps most importantly, it’s that Hayden is built like a linebacker in training

I mean, are people too obsessed with how young Hayden is to notice how thick she is?  I’m not saying she’s not attractive, and she seems like a fairly talented young person, but she’s got a body akin to the pre-KevinFederlined Britney Spears - toned, but thick and about to bust out.

I’m really hoping that Hayden doesn’t get married, have it annulled, get married again, have 2 kids less than a year apart, and have a melt-down any time soon.  At least she’s got the whales.